Well, there's one take that says sexually explicit images or phone texts are a TERRIFYING NEW TREND among The Young. Armed with handy guides labelled with the "things every parent should know" heading, it might just be possible to save the next generation from their descent into utter and complete decadence.
That's one take. Here's another:
Every generation, parents and educators are shocked (shocked, I tell you) to discover that at some point during their teenage years, their daughters and sons will start having sex. Yes, sex. Some of them, dear gentle suffering Christ, may even turn out to be a little kinky.
This is an entirely new development, of course, unprecedented in human history. Certainly nothing like it ever happened in their parents' time.
Nah, son, in our innocent days, it was all booze, sodomy and pot-driven threeso... I mean, sock hops. Yeah. Sock hops and abstinence. And don't you f'in forget it, you little bastard.
What? A rational conversation about the very real pleasures and pitfalls of one life's thorniest yet most rewarding aspects? Fuck that shit. Let's get some generational amnesia. Then we'll panic. A lot. Caitlin Flanagan's got bills to pay!
Yup, that'll work.
Also, it's a good bet that anyone texting FMLTWIA or IAYM is probably already totally lost, purity-wise. Just a thought.
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