The Five Stages of Political Grief

Now Panic and Freak Out, by Olly Moss

In the wake of Martha Coakley's shocking defeat in Massachusetts last night, an ancient cycle has re-asserted itself. This psychological pattern is present in tense electoral moments throughout history and manifests prominently among the emotionally impressionable (which happens to be most of the electorate on any side). With apologies to the late Dr. Kübler-Ross, it goes something like this:

Denial Oh my shitting shit, that did not just happen?! How the fuck does a Republican win in Massachusetts? In Ted Kennedy's seat?! This can't be right. The votes haven't all been counted yet! Oh, wait...

Anger Fuck this. Fuck you, Massachusetts. You bastards just ruined everything. Gah, this is worse than when Bush won. I'm going to move away from the damn state. Oh wait, I don't live there. Well I'm moving to Canada; I don't even want to be in the same country with fucking Massholes.

Bargaining Just let the health care bill pass, please. I can deal with Ted Kennedy's seat being occupied by a hunter-shirt sporting former nude model, but please just let the Democrats hold it together long enough to get something done...

Depression *Sob* Health care's screwed, everything's screwed. Everyone's gonna blame each other and we're all gonna fall back into the pit. *Weep, gnash* Cheney will be President in 2012 *Rend garments* OH fuckkkkkkkk *Long, long swig from whiskey bottle*

Acceptance Hey, maybe it won't be so bad. I mean, Republicans have been in government before. Besides, it's not like politics matters any...

Y'know what, fuck that. If you're involved in politics, as a citizen or an activist, and your causes mean a damn thing to you, then acceptance has no place in your vocabulary. One election should not make you throw up your hands in despair. Roll with the punches, compromise if necessary, but never, ever bow down. So let's have ourselves a new fifth stage.

Defiance There we go. I believe this attitude is best summed up by political mastermind Al Swearengen:

Now pound a shot and quit whining.

Comments

[Jane Doesnot]

Bravo, absolutely what I needed to read/hear.

I have been going through though stages and have been caught somewhere between "How.. why... but.." and "Fuck it, fuck it all"..

I'm so exhausted honestly I don't know if I'll roll beyond them, but if I do I won't let it end with acceptance, that's for sure!

(Do you mind if I repost and link back?)

[David Forbes]

I'm glad you liked it and found it helpful. I would be honored if you reposted/linked back :-)

[Leigh]

I've read this through three or four times and it makes me smile (albeit a bit sheepishly) every time. You're spot on. Stay that way, Forbes. Make sure the rest of us don't close our eyes for too long, alright?